Sunday, March 15, 2009

Florida dumbth proves Democrats are idiots too.

Dumbth—that is dumb taken to a higher level—is rampant in the Florida state legislature, but then we already knew that. Consider the antics of two female legislators, both Democrats. It is good to see that in Florida dumbth is a bipartisan activity. It appears that Republicans and Democrats can work together but when they do, watch out. For it takes truly stupid measures to get bipartisan support.

Apparently goat fucking is a problem in Florida. At least Sen. Nan Rich thought so. She was horrified to find out that bestiality is not a crime in Florida. While the Florida legislature, in their infinite wisdom, did ban gay couples from adopting children, they never got around to criminalizing bestiality—I suspect the latter hits too close to home while the former does not.

Personally, I find human relationships quite complex enough and have no desire to walk on the wild side, But I’m not entirely convinced that said activities, as revolting as they tend to be, are a matter of criminality. Surely if one can eat an animal, and that goes on constantly, then a little hanky-panky is not nearly as severe. I personally would prefer ending up in someone’s bed as opposed to finding myself on his or her dinner plate. On the other hand I can’t say I’m strongly opposed to the law. There are thousands of laws far worse currently on the books. No doubt Nan Rich helped passed many of them.

Sen. Rich went absurd when she said: “There’s a tremendous correlation between sexually deviant behavior and crimes against children and crimes against animals. This is long overdue. These are heinous crimes. And people belong in jail.”

I agree that people belong in jail but then Nan Rich would be one of those people, if I had my way. I tend to view legislators as a criminal class. But, that said, I know of no study linking bestiality with crimes against children. I suspect the Senator is confused, after all she is an elected official and it’s their job to be confused. There have been studies which link cruelty to animals with violent behavior against people. That is, individuals who are prone to hurt animals are more likely to act violently against humans. But I know of nothing linking a rumble in the hay with a goat to attacking kids, or anyone else for that matter.

My guess is that the Senator just made it all up. I also suggest she think more carefully about her public pronouncements. One should not follow up the sentence, “There’s a tremendous correlation between sexually deviant behavior and crimes against children and crimes against animals” with the sentence, “This is long overdue.” In addition I don’t think she meant to say that the correlation was “tremendous”. That implies approval. I suggest she meant “significant” or “strong.” However, if she really does think such crimes against children are "long overdue" then I guess she would find any correlation "tremendous."

While Senator Rich was tripping over her own tongue, and making false statistical claims, the height of dumbth was reached by her fellow Democrat, Sen. Larcenia Bullard. Apparently the legislation that Rich is proposing makes it illegal to derive, or help others derive, “sexual gratification” from an animal. But there is some clause in the law saying that conventional dog-judging contests and animal-husbandry practices remain legal. Odd clauses, but then Sen. Rich is not particularly bright, as we’ve already seen.

However, the mere mention of animal husbandry put Sen. Bullard, or is that Dullard, into a frenzy. She shouted out: “People are taking these animals as their husbands! What’s husbandry?” Duh!

Fellow-legislator Sen. Charlie Dean attempted to explain to dullard Bullard that husbandry is the care and raising of animals. But Bullard was still hung up on the idea that people were marrying animals. Referring to the chimpanzee attack in Connecticut she said, “So that maybe was the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?” Sure, that’s it. The chimp was her husband and the woman was upset because the police killed her husband. Exactly how dumb do you have to be to get elected in Florida? But, hey, Bush won the state twice. That says it all.

By the way, dullard Bullard, used to teach in the public schools. That thought alone should boost home schooling about 300%.

No doubt the Mormons will blame it all on gays getting married. It seems unfair that one can't have a goat in one's bed but it is legal to have asses in the state senate.