How dumb can people be?

Because Amazon is staffed by computer programs you can't get personal advice there, like you can from a book dealer who knows their product. Amazon doesn't care about books per se, just the profits. So, to substitute for informed book sellers they replace them with uninformed ratings from anyone so inclined to post them. It is not uncommon to see books that are not yet released being attacked in reviews by people with their own political agenda. Or take how the odious Rachel Alexander wrote a butt-kissing review of a book by her own boss without revealing that she worked for the man. Even worse than the agenda-hiding fraudulent reviews are the reviews from total morons.

One blog actually collected some of the dumbest reviews of the classic film Casablanca. Since I love the film I was interested to see what the unwashed asses had to say (no, that's not a misspelling).

One reviewer thought "Ingmar Bergman is like totally hot." Ingmar Bergman was a rather unhot male director and not the star of this film, Ingrid Bergman. And while the reviewer liked Bergman he was disappointed because the film "started ripping off all sorts oc catch phrases" such as:

“Play it again”, “this looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship,” etc. It even has a whole speech of nothing but catch phrases. Hire a screenwriter next time. And the movie ends wrong! Wrongly. Whatever. She’s supposed to get on the plane, and Bogart is supposed to be sad, but then she’s supposed to get off the plane and everything is happy. That’s how it works. … So that’s why this movie is like the worst movie ever.

Another bitched that: "Ingrid Bergman is no Maryland Monroe." I suppose Marilyn Monroe was no Maryland Monroe either. But then neither was Ingmar Bergman.

Another whined:

I really don’t understand the fascination people have with this movie. It’s a film about unrequited love which frankly doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t care about great dialogue or “whimsical”, “beautiful” acting and drama. This is a film from the 1940s and the acting is stagy and the film has no entertainment value. A film where a bunch of people talk for 3 hours is not the greatest ever made.

Or this classic:

This movie is horrible! It is so boring and unoriginal that I can’t stand it. The only good thing about it is the cast. Bogie is the man of course and Ingrid Bergman makes the screen shine with her beauty and talent. But that’s it. How is it boring? Because all they do is talk. The only moment I felt enthralled is where Rick flashbacked to Paris and the end. That’s it. The rest is a bunch of talking and ordering the African-American around. Now I know it’s old but it’s not based on the Civil War. It’s during World War II. A lot of people, including blacks, got killed so the studios could make this awfulness.

How is it unoriginal? It’s about a love triangle. You take away the locale and the nazis and that’s all it is. Besides, there’s absolutely no chemistry between Bogart and Bergman. They looked more uncomfortable than in love. A lot of professional reviewers praise it because they base it around World War II. Of course they did, the movie was made in 1943.

According to the AFI this movie is #2 in the best movies of all time. It’s right above The Godfather. Say it isn’t so say it isn’t so.

Final words: If this movie is so great then could anybody tell me the director or the screenwriter?

For the record, the screenwriter was Julius Epstein and brother, Philip, for the most part. Others helped. I knew Epstein was involved with the writing and knew Hal Wallis was the producer. I didn't know that Michael Curtiz was the director. He also did Yankee Doodle Dandy, Mildred Pierce, White Christmas and others. As far as I know he never worked with Maryland Monroe.

At least Amazon reviews entertain us. As for me, I've stopped buying through Amazon long ago.