Protecting American from the Finnish musician threat.

America can sleep easy tonight knowing that the Homeland Security brownshirts are fighting well the war against Finnish music! God bless George Bush and God bless America! (Cue sound of wreching.)

Now for the background. Recently the Immigration History Research Center at the University of Minnesota invited three of Finland’s most popular musicians to come to the United States to play Finnish music. Minnesota was has a large population of descendants from Finnish immigrants. The university was paying for the trip along with Finnish television which sent a film crew along to record everything.

Prof. Jukka Savolainen was waiting at the airport for the guests he invited. And he waited and waited and waited.

Apparently the border Nazis got something up their butt and decided to interrogate the Finnish musicians along with the filmmaker from Finnish television. The border thugs grabbed the Finns and took them to separate rooms where they were continually screamed at by different “officials” who are America’s welcome mat to the world.

The filmmaker, Erkki Maattanen said: “I kept trying to tell them why we were here, but they’d just yell, ‘Shut up!’” The complaint that was later filed with the U. S. Embassy in Helsinki said: “They threatened us with severe punishments if we talk to each other.” And, “Through the walls, I can hear officers yelling, screaming. They ask about the purpose of our trip -- except we are only allowed to give yes or no answers. I try to talk about our plans to meet with Finnish-American folk musicians. Nobody listens. They interrupt me constantly and they yell, ‘You are a liar!’”

Maattanen said: “They were shouting at me, and people were going in and out of doors. They tried to put you down mentally, to humiliate you.”

Now why are these dear musicians surprised? Surely this is the sort of thing that you expect when you travel behind the Iron Curtain. Welcome to George Bush’s America. Sieg Heil.

Photo: Dangerous Finnish musician/terrorist Jukka Karjalainen. If you see this man do not attempt to apprehend him yourself. Call George Bush and Barney Fife immediately and for God's sake, hide the children someplace safe and pray.