Saturday, August 27, 2011

Wacky Romp on the Religious Right

You know we're getting into election when the Religious Right goes bonkers, making bizarre statements and hiding their own little scandals. It's been a busy few days.

Of course, we have the scandals of two Republican legislators, both with anti-gay records, getting caught in their own little gay scandals. Indiana Representative Phil Hinkle claimed his brain "snapped" and caused him to try to hire, then sexually assault, an 18-year-old man but rest assured, Hinkle said he's not gay. Puerto Rican Republican senator Robert Arango took rather intimate photos of his anus and posted them to a gay "meet up" site. His justification for the photos was he was documenting his recent "weight loss." Okay!

Then there was Rabbi Yehuda Levin, who speaks at rallies held by the sexual equivalent of the Ku Klux Klan, the National Organization for (sic) Marriage run by that rotund little bigot Maggie Gallagher. Actually Maggie is very pro-marriage. This explains why she had her first child out of wedlock, and why she is now on her second marriage. I believe, if my math is correct, she has had children by three different men to date. Her current hubbie is Raman Srivastav. Maggie not only hides him away but won't use her married name. I guess the kind of pro marriage people she deals with don't take kindly to her current marriage to a man who is not "Caucasian" and who is NOT a Christian. Given how Maggie wears her religion on her sleeve, it is no accident she avoids being seen in public with her husband and refuses to use his name. But, back to Levin, who told the world that earthquake that was centered in Virginia was God's punishment to New York for gay marriage. Yep, he knows what motivates God.

Well, the dike has broken with that sort of nonsense. The senile, rambling Ron Paul of religion, Pat Robertson, said the Virginia earthquake "means that we're closer to the coming of the Lord." I wonder how long these morons can keep that mantra up? Earthquakes have been a common, daily occurrence for as long as the planet has existed. God really is a dork to pick a "sign" that happens daily. It is of no use to indicate his "message" since they happen constantly, no matter what "sins" the people are engaging in. God has to be rather stupid. This is like picking sunlight to predict the end of the world. Every day the sun shines and the world still hasn't ended. All I can conclude is that Jehovah would have to be as dumb as his followers.

Of course, Robertson can't be outdone by a Christ-crucifying rabbi so he upped the ante and claimed that the crack in the Washington Monument is a "sign from the Lord" and is "symbolic." You might remember that senile Pat said the Haiti earthquake was because Haitians had a secret "pact" with the devil.

According to surveys about 38% of Americans believe that natural disasters are messages from God. I note this is almost the same percentage of people who believe support the Republicans as advocates of free markets and limited government. Clearly this proves that once you believe one piece of bullshit, you are prone to believe other pieces. Note, I'm not saying free enterprise and limited government are bullshit, I'm saying that Republican "support" for these things is bullshit. God's Own Party remains a big government organization.

Meanwhile, another crazy woman from the Right, Linda Harvey of "Mission America," has decided that the way to solve the "gay problem" is to announce that gay people simply DO NOT exist. On wacky right radio she said: "There's one big fact that's not backed up." Read that several times and it still won't make sense. It is a contradiction. If it's not backed up, then it is not "one big fact." But what gets more bizarre is that the unsubstantiated fact is "There is no proof that there's ever anything like a gay, lesbian or bisexual or transgendered child, or teen or human." Okay, so her inability to speak English meant she said the opposite of what she was trying say.

She seems to be saying that there is no such thing as gay people, or bisexuals or transgendered people. She was ranting about a program to teach respect of others. She says this really means respect not for people "but for homosexual lifestyle." She says the "The PR campaign to hold up gay as a good thing: the lifestyle, not the person, because there are no such humans." When I hear sentences such as that, I become sympathetic to the bigots who want to make English the official language.

Harvey simply can't put a complete sentence together. Entire clauses appear to be missing. But, what she is saying is that you can't teach respect for gay people because gay people do not exist. There is only something called a "homosexual lifestyle," which apparently even homosexuals can't agree upon. From the "lifestyle" that I'm seeing being pushed by "activists" and "radicals," in the non-existent gay community, is to get married, settle down, and maybe have children. Wait a second! Isn't that the heterosexual lifestyle? Of course, the way the sentence is worded Harvey may simply be saying she doesn't think gay people are humans. It's hard to tell when you're clearly dealing with someone who doesn't speak English well.

Meanwhile, the Religious Right had to deal with the funeral of one of their own. Rev. Zachery Tims was pastor of the mega-church New Destiny Christian Center. Tims was found dead in a hotel in New York City. He had a "glassine envelope containing white powder" on his person. No doubt it was Sweet 'n Low or something similar. Surely it wasn't an illegal substance in spite of Tims history of drug abuse problems.

According to the church's website Tims was a "troubled" youth who was "miraculously saved, instantly delivered from drug addictions and called into ministry." Hmm, I hope that "miraculously saved" part worked better than the "instantly delivered" part. Having escaped from the world of fundamentalism I can assure you that dishonest claims about being "instantly delivered" are rampant on the religious right. The one thing they can not tolerate is reality.

I remember when a porno theater burned down and a well known fundamentalist minister was among the dead. His followers had an instant explanation for his presence. He went there to "minister to" the men attending the film. Sure, he went to the porno theater to give them a hand or something like that. When Southern Baptist leader Lonnie Latham was caught propositioning a male police office for oral sex he tried the "I was in the area pastoring to police" excuse as well. It didn't work. Giving a cop a blow job is not the same thing as pastoring.

They can't face the truth about evolution. They can't face the facts about gay people. They can't even face the facts about drug addiction. They make up bullshit to try and rescue a theology befitting the Dark Ages. Since they can't accept the reality that their religion is so much BS, they twist reality and lie constantly. So, yes, we get scandals about drug addicted ministers dying in a out-of-state hotel room with a suspicious powder on their person. We get "exgay" leaders caught in bed with same-sex individuals they claim to be counseling. We get anti-gay Republicans claiming they posted their anal opening on a gay site to document weight loss, or who claim they "snapped" and that caused them to hire a male prostitute. Of course, who can forget Rev. George Rekers, an antigay leader of the cure-gays kind, who was caught with a pretty boy prostitute that he took to Europe.

Rekers still has the most articulate excuse. He claims he asked this boy to accompany him and give him nude, genital massages, because he needed someone to "Lift my Luggage."

Sure, we all need someone to life our luggage now and then. But only fundamentalists feel compelled to lie about it.

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