Sunday, November 05, 2006

How do I put this delicately?

Here is one of those stories which strains propriety. But I shall do my best because the story is so bizarre it ought to be told. A young man was seen near the rapid transit station in El Cerrito, California. He was undressed and, shall we say, having a good time with himself.

Now I shall not link to the article because it mentions the young man by name. And in my opinion, while he is an annoyance there is no indication he actually meant to hurt anyone or would have. And I think it pretty sleazy to mention his name especially since he has not even been convicted of anything. (Though I suspect they police arrested the right man.)

The police drove to the site and found a young man who they suspected was the man reported to them. So they arrested him. They asked him if he had anything they should know about. He answered. It is always a bad thing to answer the police.

He told them that he had a screwdriver. It was not easily or immediately accessible. Apparently he found anal stimulation rather pleasant. So now you understand I suspect.

Police were in a dither. They are not necessarily the brightest people. So they called a fire engine! I don't know if they thought they could flush it out or what but this sounds like passing the problem off to the fire department. Well the fire fighters were not exactly keen to go dunking for doughnuts themselves and suggested the problem be passed off to the local hospital.

At this point the young man said it really wasn't a problem and that he could remove it himself rather easily.

He had a 6 inch screwdriver wrapped in black electrical tape, I suspect to prevent unwanted injuries. As the young man removed it the police kept their weapons pointed at him. But he was quite cooperative and made no attempt to cause a problem. Of course he was charged with indecent exposure. But it is this other charge that warrants this discussion. The man was also charged with carrying a "concealed weapon".

Apparently the young man is not the only bonehead involved in this case. The one question that remains to be asked is since when did it become illegal to carry a screwdriver? I don't know about you but I almost always kept my screwdrivers concealed -- admittedly not in the unique fashion of this young man. But no one really goes around with a screwdriver in a holster right out where people can see it -- well not many do. If one is carrying a screwdriver you tend to keep it in the glove box, the trunk (boot), or in a tool box. All of those are concealed places.

Would a carpenter or electricians be arrested on "concealed weapons" charges for carrying a screwdriver in a toolbox? It isn't as if he was holding the screwdriver in a menacing way. In fact you'd really have to be rather intimate with him before you'd be anywhere near the screwdriver. Surely it was not something he could just whip out to attack the police officers. Didn't they over react with this additional charge?

Oh, there is one more thing which is absolutely impossible to believe. As far as I can tell the young man in question is neither a fundamentalist minister nor a Republican Congressman. Amazing.